Answered Prayers!

Well it has been a long and hard process but I finally got the call from the doctor that I have been wanting for what seems like an eternity. Over the past 8 months I have had a rollercoaster ride of symptoms from what I was diagnosed with of hyperthyroidism. I was tired, had a heart rate of around 130 bpm's, was skipping periods (this one I did not mind so much), SUPER sweaty all the time, like nasty amounts of sweat just from walking up one flight of stairs, irritable, inability to get pregnant, and so much more. All of this became known to us because we actually thought we were pregnant, hence the skipped period symptom but I got a 50/50 on the 6 pregnancy tests that I took. So, I went to the student health clinic where they took a blood sample (I am awful with needles). He said I really was not pregnant which was hard to hear, but apparently I had bigger problems and we started talking about going and seeing a specialist in Idaho Falls which is about 30 minutes away from our home. Luckily, we were able to catch it very early which made treatment easier to determine when we got to that stage. When I was finally able to be squeezed into the doctor's office at Idaho Falls 2 weeks later, I was completely on edge. My grandma and I did a lot of research in the meantime and when I say my grandma and I, I really mean my grandma. Needless to say, I was nervous. My doctor said that I would probably need radiation. WHAT!! When did that become an everyday word that I was going to have to be using. I was furious, and sad, and heartbroken, and I dont even know what else. I barely made it home before I had a complete breakdown. Little did I know I would be having several of those in the near future. I had to take a blood test every month...again with the needles!! And no, I did not get used to it. I felt/feel so bad for everyone who ever has and ever will take a blood sample from me. I just want to apologize to all of you right now. I know you are trying to make me feel better by asking me questions to get me through it, but please just stop talking and let me have a panic attack in peace. I may be 22 years old, but I seriously turn into a total baby...like 3 year old, cry on everything BABY! It is bad and pretty embarrassing, but I cant help it. Its not that it hurts, its that I overthink it and totally freak myself out...bigtime! Anyway, So months go by and I am finally wrapping my head around this whole radiation word and everything that comes with that. I cant leave our second bedroom for at least 3 days, no human contact of any kind (or I might Hulk out and contaminate everyone), no getting pregnant for at least a year, take all of our food storage and anything that could absorb radiation out of the room I will be locked in, no talking, I would have to flush the toilet at least 3 times everytime I used it, wash my clothes seperately...crazy right! So we scheduled an uptake and scan which is like a mini dose of radiation for the doctor to be able to see where to point the radiation to completely kill my thyroid. The radiation nurse pulled out a box which had another box in it which had a large pipe looking bottle in it which had a regular pill bottle in it which had a capsule that I was supposed to swallow. I was terrified my pee was going to be green or something. I had to go in the next day and get the scan portion of the procedure and I pasted out 3 times and had a small seizure - needless to say I was not feeling well that day. I decided to go to another doctor in Pocatello which is an hour away for a second opinion before I commit my body to radiation since I did not really handle the uptake and scan all that well. I was praying so hard to please not make me have to go through this. It was all so scary and fast and awful and I really did not know what to do or how to handle my emotions of what was going on. I had a doctors appointment at both doctors in the same week and the news they had was so comforting. It appeared that my scan showed no signs of hyperthyroidism and I was in the down of the rollercoaster ride. So, not I had 2 options. I would either go back up to stable which is what we are all hoping for or I would rocket back down into hypothyroidism. If I went back to normal, the explanations would be a thyroid virus that comes and smacks you in the face and then leaves, OR it was my thyroids way of giving one last fight before it basically commits suicide and I have to take medicine for the rest of my life. Since both options now did not contain the word radiation, I was so releaved. Well, the update is I had a blood test about a week and a half ago AND.....I am back to perfectly normal! I am so esctatic and happy, and excited and AH everything. Apparently it was just a virus. I have to have my blood drawn every 3 months for a year just to make sure everything is remaining stable, but what a relief. I could not believe it. I saved the voice mail that my nurse left me and have listened to it at least 5 times now just to make sure that it was real. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for knowing what the outcome would be even when I did not. I cannot lie - there were a few days where I could see myself starting to question and feel angry. I did not understand why this was all happening to us. I was trying to do everything that the Lord wanted me to do so why was this going on? I am so thankful that my testimony and my husband did not let me dwell in that dark place and help me to understand that this is life and trials are what we signed up for. This was an amazing trial for me, and probably my hardest so far, but in the end, I can honestly say that I am thankful. I learned what it means to trust in a loving Heavenly Father even when you are not sure what will happen or why. I learned what it means to understand the Lords timeline even when it is not what you want to hear. But most importantly, I learned that I really do have a testimony. It would have been easy for me to fall away and blame Him for what was happening, but I didn't. I do love my Father and all the blessings AND trials that He has given me and my family. This trial made my relationship to Matthew so much stronger. Seeing how comforting he was when I needed it and dropping everything to be with me for doctors visits and blood draws and on my hard days. He really does love me and it has made us grow closer and stronger in ourselves and together in the gospel. I am so thankful. It also opened our eyes to adoption which is something that we never thought about before and now we are looking forward to trying to adopt at least one child someday. I know that my Heavenly Father knew what was going on and I hope I made Him proud in how we handled this trial in our lives. I am so thankful for all the prayers and everyone who put our names in the temple. Thank you for all the support and love that I have received and felt these last 8 months, we are truly appreciative.